Monday, April 22, 2013

I'm Not Cool


So it occurs to me that even if it hasn’t been obvious, I have been attempting to be someone I’m not.  I have been thinking a little too hard about the cliques that come along with blogging, and letting it bother me. Those days are over.

Before I started blogging, I became friends on GoodReads with a certain person who shall remain nameless.   I thought she was so cool and when I saw her blog, I was totally inspired to start my own.  She writes great reviews and is pretty funny.  I used to think of her as one of my closest blogging friends.  Now we still talk on Twitter every now and again, but we’ve obviously grown apart.

This person now associates with a handful of other bloggers whose blogs I enjoy reading. Their content is good and there’s a lot of individuality behind each blog.  I’m referring to a group here that’s a fairly small size.  While these girls are all friendly, it seems to me as though they largely associate with one another.  I get it—when it comes to girlfriends, the ones who you can laugh with but who will also support you when you’re down are the best picks.

I tried to subtley insert myself into this group a few times.  You know, join conversations on Twitter, perhaps casually drop a mention of hoping to meet them one day if we happened to be at the same event.  It’s recently occurred to me that I’ll never be a part of this little group.   Honestly?  That’s completely fine with me.  I still have blogging friends that I’m pretty tight with and those people know who they are.

So I’ve stopped trying and have decided to let it go.  Unless it’s something I feel strongly about, I let the Tweets pass me by.  I’ll be courteous and chat with one of these ladies if it’s something I’m super passionate, but why keep trying?  Why put so much energy into something that’s just not going to happen?

Since getting a full-time job, I’m not on Twitter nearly as much.  I often leave it open during work in case someone Tweets a link that’s useful to me in a professional sense, but after work I don’t spend much time online.  I’m currently getting ready to do a sprint triathlon in June and I try to keep at lest somewhat busy on the weekends.  I have friends in my personal life who constantly welcome me with open arms, and who are not only loving and supportive people, but just plain fun to be with.  I’m in a healthy spot outside of blogging and I like it that way.  It makes sitting at home trying to stimulate futile internet friendships look like an absurd endeavor.

Some of you may be thinking that I’m ditching Twitter entirely. That’s not true either.  I will definitely be doing my best to respond to all Tweets that are directed at me personally, and I’m happy to make new friends.

I doubt I’m the only blogger who has wondered what exactly my place in this community is.  Am I cool kid?  Or just an outlier sitting in the background with a Coca-Cola, occasionally blurting out that random thoughts that pop into her head?

Clearly, I am the latter.  I am an outlier. A weirdo.  Truth be told, I always kind of have been.  It feels nice to just admit it.  I think writing this post will hold me accountable in regards to not stressing about cliques and other blogging drama. 

Be friends with who you like, if they have 3,000 Twitter followers or 300. Don’t try to be something you aren’t.  While I don’t think anyone will call you out on it, I do believe you’ll be happier.

13 comments:

  1. Great post! I'm considering coming back to blogging since I'm graduating soon. I would love to get back in touch with the community but also worry about fitting in. Ultimately I know I need to just be myself and the rest will fall into place.

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    Replies
    1. It can get stressful if you let it, but you're awesome, so you shouldn't have a problem :)

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  2. It's really lovely for someone to address the cliquey nature of the YA blogging world from an outcast perspective. I understand what you went through, and I have come to the realization that I actually LOVE being an outlier. I like the thought provoking, little known content lurking under corners of the internet. I love having a niche composed of people who don't follow conventional blogging ideas. The outliers do make me happy, if not particularly successful, and I'm okay with that. Thank you for the reminder! I hope we can be outcasts together.

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    1. I would be happy to be outcasts together.

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  3. Yeah, I've had some thoughts on this as well. I definitely fall into the outlier camp and I think I'm fairly happy there to be totally honest.

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  4. A thousand times, yes. I have felt this way for a long time, but I came to accept it a while ago. Every now and then I get a little sad, but really, it doesn't matter. Thanks for writing it down and making us all not feel so alone!

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    1. Of course! Honestly, I'm surprised more people haven't voiced this opinion.

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  5. This is a great post. I just saw a post about cliques in the book blogging world the other day, too.

    I feel like you, though. The outlier. Sometimes it's frustrating because I do want to make blogging friends. I don't care if they are huge book bloggers, or ones that have smaller blogs (like myself).

    That's just the way it goes, though.

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    Replies
    1. What was the other post you saw? I don't care about blog size, but I think some people don't realize that when you get super cliquey and make it hard for others to join your conversation, you look really flaky. That's just my opinion and if others want to act flaky it's their business, but I do start to feel bad for them because I don't think they're realize how others potentially see them.

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  6. I think, in school I always had a few friends from each little segment of the population, and since they didn't necessarily all get along with each other, it often felt like I was part of every group and no group at the same time. And while, yeah, that can be a weird place to be, and it makes planning something near impossible (which is fine, because I'm a hermit), I was always in a prime position to realize just how silly clique-y-ness is.
    SOMETIMES it's hard when you see a group of people doing something really cool that you wish you could be a part of without looking like a hanger-on, or when it feels like something you've been doing all along is now only getting attention because of a group or person that you don't gel with, but most of the time, I think realizing that you're in a place to do your own thing is liberating. =D

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  7. I am ok with that I am not cool! It is totally ok!

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  8. I am a newbie book blogger and the whole getting into the blogger crowd is a little unnerving. I have only really interacted with a few bloggers but they all seem nice. I am always afraid that with any community gathering there will always be that "It" crowd that I will never be a part of. I would rather just sit back and let those I click well with be the people I associate with than try to follow the in crowd. Embrace your outcast side! It's much more gratifying :)

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